How to Get Your Boss to Back the Eff Off
Three effective ways to get your boss to back the eff off that will boost your confidence and make you unf*ckwithable.
You’re sitting at your work desk. Focusing on finishing a tedious assignment that requires your full attention..
Next thing you know your office phone is ringing. It’s your boss.
You wish you could let it just go to voicemail. But since that is not an option you let out a huge sigh and feel tightness in your chest as you answer the call.
Not to your surprise, your boss is annoyed. And he’s annoyed at you. Unfortunately for you, this is business as usual.
You’ve given him no legitimate reason to be annoyed at you, but for some reason or another you’re always the target of his frustrations.
By the end of the call, you’ve been through your own rollercoaster of emotions. A rollercoaster ride that you can never seem to get off of.
Your day is filled with phone call after phone call from your boss with the exact exchange. Every time the phone rings you’re filled with dread knowing you’re about to get an earful.
By the time your boss finally arrives at the office his mood is less than chipper, at best.
Is he going to approach you in a hostile tone?
Maybe he’ll purposely ignore you, to reiterate the fact that you are of no importance to him whatsoever. This is his favorite tactic. Not even a “hello”.
His behavior is becoming harder and harder to predict each passing day. This sends your anxiety through the roof.
You’re repeatedly bombarded with accusation-style questions laced with mistrust in your ability to do your job. Suffocated with criticism when you’re not keeping up with your boss’s unrealistic demands.
You’re getting to the point where you simply cannot take it anymore and you want to finally stand up for yourself.
You often fantasize about standing up from your desk, looking him square in the eye, shouting “BACK THE EFF OFF” right in his face, quitting, and walking away with your dignity.
But reality sets in. You can’t afford to quit.
You have bills to pay, maybe children at home to feed, and several other financial obligations.
All you know is you can’t take it anymore.
You are no longer completing your daily tasks as quickly or as proficiently because of the overwhelming stress and anxiety.
According to a 2017 survey conducted by the Workplace Bullying Institute 65 percent of bullied employees lost their jobs when they tried to stop the bullying.
But the situation is not hopeless.
Here are three effective ways to get your boss to back the eff off that will boost your confidence and make you (as I bluntly describe it) unf*ckwithable.
1) Flip the Script and Ignore Him
Answer his relevant questions and complete the work that is expected of you, while ignoring his bad behavior.
You’re never going to be able to change the behavior of your boss, no matter how many times you try to explain your feelings to them.
The fact of the matter is that your bullying boss is a narcissist and lacks empathy. Don’t waste your energy trying to have any breakthroughs in your relationship with them.
Instead, apply your energy to what you can control: your job performance and improving your mental wellbeing.
Focus on performing your daily tasks to your best potential without seeking your boss’s approval. Take time throughout the day to acknowledge your wins when you complete each assignment and a job well done.
This way if your boss decides to go to upper management stating that they have a personal issue with you they’ll have no leg to stand on. Your work will speak for itself.
And at the end of the day, business is business and not everyone at work is going to be friends.
2) Straighten Your Spine to Set Him Straight
It’s never a good idea to curse out your boss. So let your body language do that for you.
Notice your current body language during your encounters with your bullying boss. You might notice that your shoulders are slumped forward slightly, your head is hanging a little low, maybe you bring your arms closer to your abdomen.
Not only is a “slumped” posture linked to depression as well as mirrors a down mood, it can be perceived as a sign of weakness by your abuser.
Your goal is to be as confident as possible around this person at all times.
Maybe you’re not so confident with your words or with your mindset, and that will come in time! Until then, let your posture do the talking.
Next time your boss approaches you, practice standing/sitting tall, shoulders down, drawing shoulder blades together, and lifting the crown of your head up to the sky.
With persistent practice, you will begin to feel a shift in your overall mindset such as increased confidence and self esteem, feeling more alert and enthusiastic, and most importantly less fearful.
Over time you may even begin to notice your boss starting to back the eff off!
3) Take Radical Responsibility For Your Emotions
You’ve probably heard this next statement thousands of times, but it needs to be remembered.
You cannot control anything or anyone, you can only control your reactions to them.
Emotional abusers and bullies will try to convince their victims that they are weak, inadequate, and unworthy in order to mask their own insecurities of feeling weak, inadequate, and unworthy. They strive to appear superior and confident while leaving you shattered in their disastrous wake.
You can take that power back. The best way to do this to learn how to process and balance your emotions.
Yes, the words people say and the things people do can affect how one feels, but the emotional response is our responsibility to manage . Developing self care and wellness habits or practices can help process feelings of anger, sadness, low self esteem, anxiety and depression.
Practices such as journaling, breath work, mindful meditations, and movement practices such as yoga bring us into a state of total body and mind awareness.
Adding any or all of these practices into your daily life will help you to process negative thoughts, increase mental focus and clarity, as well as improving posture for that confidence boost that you’ll need to rise up against your abuser!
Do you need more support with an emotionally abusive boss/coworker or from working in a toxic workplace?
- Request to join Caitlin’s free Facebook Group “Be Unf*withable: Support for Emotionally Abused Womxn in the Workplace”
- Sign up HERE to receive Caitlin’s free “Be Unf*ckwithable 5-Day Jumpstart” course.
